Diary of Anime Lived – Potpourri Part 1

by Child of Ginger

Anime is a rich medium that knows how to deliver good/ powerful/ touching stories, if used properly. Their impact, of course, depends also from their viewers’ experiences and tastes. When the viewers can see themselves in the story, that’s when the strongest emotions are stirred and get unlocked. In this post, we reminiscence such key moments.

Part of the Diary of An Anime Lived Project. You can also check the Remembering Love project by trzr23 that is pretty similar.

Foxy Lady:

i) 12 Kingdoms (ep. 4 & 38)

Suzu: The lady I used to serve was very mean to her servants. If I think about it now, we should have just stood up to her. But none of us dared to make her angry, so we didn’t say anything. When you keep your mouth shut and endure everything… you become a coward. If I look back now, Lady Riyou would never have killed me, but I thought, if I resisted, I would suffer more.
Shoukei: That may be true.
Suzu: As you put up with it, your self-pity grows. You just sit there and lick your wounds. That’s how the citizens are feeling right now. They’re not going to wake up until their loved ones get killed.
Shoukei: And then the others will say it’s their own fault for making Shoukou angry. People are competitive about how unfortunate they are. But the truth is, the one who loses his life is the most unfortunate. They feel as if they’ll lose, if they have pity for someone else. Maybe feeling like the most unfortunate person in the world gives you the very same pleasure as being the happiest person in the world. And when someone denies you that, it makes you angry. You don’t know why they’d say such a thing when you are already so unhappy.
Youko: I guess we are all in the same boat.
Shoukei: You feel the same way, too?
Youko: Being happy seems so simple, yet it’s very difficult; that’s how I feel.
Suzu: You know, I was told that life is half happiness and half hardship.

Listening to this dialogue I get so ashamed each time, that I wanna hide somewhere… It’s like a lecture meant for me. I have some issues with my stepfather regulating my life and the situation can get very depressing. I want my freedom so badly and I find myself often ranting about it too much. I also catch myself  saying that others can’t know how it feels, although I’m aware that there are girls being raped and suffering worse things than I do. I also used to be like Youko the honor student, the obedient child and didn’t protest much because like what Suzu tells was afraid that I would suffer more (I’ve already spoken about my psychophysical stress symptoms in my xxxholic/trc post). This has changed the last 4 years just a bit, but my personal life hasn’t and can’t make much progress as long as I live with my parents. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy to just take my things and leave -although I’ve attempted it twice. Reality is harsh; with the economical crisis and me without a job that would provide me with financial and thus personal freedom, things are not that bright…

ii) Mononoke (ep. 5 – 7)

Ochou-san: I loved my mother. I wanted her praise.
Kusuriuri: So you bore it, to the point of losing your own soul. […] So, you became your mother’s tool, to further her ends. […]
Ochou-san: Mother, listen to me! Listen to me! Why won’t you listen to what I have to say? Mother, listen to me! Listen… Listen… Listen to me… I… I’m so stupid.
Kusuriuri: Ochou-san, who was it that you killed?
Ochou-san: Who did I kill? All of them… were me?? I… Why?

This goes along the lines of the previous anime scene, yet it isn’t that  accusing, and the emphasis is given on the psychological drama. I was crying and feeling pain, while seeing Ochou realizing that her mother, who forced her wish for ‘her own good’ on Ochou, didn’t really love her. The anguish of denial and of the following realization of the situation, being yelled at when she failed meeting her mother’s expectations, her voice not ever reaching her parent’s ears, the lost childhood, a life not essentially her own, a life in prison, a self that got murdered several times… all of these I’ve experienced first hand. The music, the visuals, the tale conspired for a blast in my heart.


iii) Honey & Clover (ep. 13)

I planted basil and beefsteak on my balcony in the beginning of the summer. They grew quickly under the summer sun. But in one of the July typhoons, the tallest beefsteak plant snapped in two. My mother looked at the snapped beefsteakplant and said, “That won’t return to normal, so tear it off where it broke. If you do that, a new stem will grow from there and new leaves will from it.” but I couldn’t help but hesitate because the small leaves on the end of the stem were still healthy. They didn’t change at all after the stem snapped.
When I went out on the balcony few days later, the snapped beefsteak plant was writhing on the ground, unable to hold up its own weight. It was just like my mom said. I had no choice but to tear it off where it snapped. There was no choice but to break it there and let it grow a new stem. But I still became hopelessly confused. Unable to break this feeling… Unable to break…
~ Yamada

I guess this one has got many people sympathizing, since being in an one-sided love is pretty common. Yamada might be accused as a crybaby by many viewers but I think she’s just another human with a broken heart that doesn’t know how to deal with the love sickness. The fact that Mayama continues to be forever kind towards her, despite knowing her feelings, doesn’t help at all and I can say, it’s cruel, too. Letting go isn’t easy at all, especially if the other is almost on a daily basis in your environment and keeps giving you false hopes or at least postponing making things clear. The allusion to the plant is a very memorable and bittersweet one.


iv) 5 Centimeters per Second (part 1)

That moment… I felt as though I could grasp things like eternity, the heart, or the soul. It’s as if, I thought, I was able to share with her this whole year of my life. Then, the next moment, I had a fit of unbearable sadness. Akari’s warmth… Akari’s soul… how could I reach them? Where could I take them? I just didn’t know. ~Takaki

Well… where should I begin from with this film? I’ve watched it at least three-four times and each time I indentified with a different situation. I’ll let the unrequited love theme in the Astronaut out, since I’ve mentioned it already in Honey & Clover. I could also talk about the fear of losing the person you care the most due to distance or even the bitterness of not achieving much in life despite the many efforts you’ve put as well as the hollowness of not knowing what to do with your future.

But this period in my life I feel closer to the first part of the story, The Cherry Blossoms. So I’ll focus on it. Both I and Neko love books and have many common interests, e.g. in art and anime. It is heartwarming when you innocently and without inhibitions just share your passion, your silly thoughts as well as grandiose ideas with a person that makes you feel safe and happy. Perhaps it’s that very fact of sharing that starts and preserves the sparks of sweet romance, the bubbly joy and the warmth of protectiveness. I’m always in awe when Neko explains things to me in serious tone and I’m all fuzzy when we laugh or cry together while watching anime in each other’s embrace. These are the moments when I say to myself ‘that’s why I fell in love with him’ or ‘here is my home, with him’.

And then of course, I can’t forget to mention our meetings and partings that resemble Akari’s and Takaki’s meetings. There are times that our dream of staying always together against all odds seems far away or impossible, but we try to dismiss such thoughts. I really hope we won’t get an ending like the one in the movie. But I digress. That single image of them kissing and hugging underneath the cherry tree, relishing in each other’s body heat, the moment of reunion with all the unbearable happiness, oh boy, I do know. The despair might creep in occasionally, but it usually prefers to linger in the departure and torment us the last day or hour we’re together, spoiling any mood for genki/naughty activities.

v) Chihayafuru (ep. 23)

*flashback* Kana-chan: The “misty bridge of magpie feathers” spanned the river of stars which separated Orihime and Hikoboshi. The bridge is what brought them together. *end of flashback*
Chihaya: Arata. Cellphones are incredible; they’re like a misty bridge!

Chihaya you’re a bit too late, don’t you think? Realizing that cellphones are a gift from heaven. I didn’t expect that I would use handys and the net so often some years ago. Nor did I know how much I’d appreciate these mediums of communication. They keep our relationship alive not to mention they ‘introduced’ me to my most precious person in the first place.  I used to think of sms as cold texts, but when they were sent from Neko I started seeing them in another light. The smile that’s brought upon reading a cute or sexy sms is irreplaceable, isn’t it? As well as the anticipation of hearing your lover’s voice near your ear, tingling both your ear and your heart.

Since it turned quite long with just Foxy Lady’s anime scenes, Neko will step on the podium next time 🙂